Let’s talk about the networking email most professionals send.
We want to build a relationship with someone. Maybe it’s a senior leader. Maybe it’s a client. Maybe it’s a stakeholder. Maybe it’s simply someone whose expertise we admire and we’d like to learn from.
The problem is that we do not want to “bother” them.
So, we sit down to write an email and end up sending something that sounds like this:
Hey Senior Leader / Customer / Important Person,
I would like to meet with you to learn more about your area of business. Please let me know if you are willing to make time.
Thanks,
Director Such-and-Such
Sound familiar?
Most of us have written some version of this email at some point in our careers.
The problem is that while it feels polite, it creates a tremendous amount of uncertainty for the person receiving it. They open the email and immediately start wondering: What do you want to learn? What part of my business? How much time are you asking for? What are we talking about? Why me? Why now?
Before they can even decide whether they want to help you, they have to figure out what you’re actually asking for.
And that’s where many networking efforts quietly die.
In Part 1 of this series, we talked about intent. We learned that people are constantly evaluating whether we’re operating from extraction mode or impact mode.
In Part 2, we explored curiosity and how asking thoughtful questions creates connection by moving people into a reward state.
But even with the right intent and the right curiosity, there is still one challenge left.
How do you actually get the meeting?
How do you make the connection in the first place?
The answer is surprisingly simple.
To dramatically increase your chances of success, do two things with your reach out:
- Make it specific.
- Make it relevant.
Let’s Talk Specific
One of the biggest mistakes professionals make when networking is assuming that vague sounds flexible. In reality, vague creates work. The recipient now has to determine how long you want to meet, where you want to meet, and what you actually want to discuss.
The easier you make it for someone to understand your request, the more likely they are to say yes.
Start with the modality. Do you want to meet in person? Virtually? Over coffee? At a conference between sessions?
Then be clear about the time commitment. Is this a quick 15-minute conversation? A 30-minute Teams call? An hour over coffee?
Finally, tell them what you want to discuss. Outline the topic or even provide a few of the questions you’d like to cover.
For example:
“I’d like a 30-minute Teams call to learn more about your experience leading AI readiness projects.”
Or:
“I’d love to schedule an hour for coffee while I’m in town to learn more about your experience with the XYZ account.”
Notice what happened.
The recipient no longer has to guess. They know the modality, the time commitment, and the purpose of the conversation.
The uncertainty disappears.
Make It Relevant
Once you’ve made your request specific, the next step is making it relevant.
In other words:
Why them?
And why now?
When I was an executive at Amazon, I used to get requests from people asking if I would mentor them. I was almost always willing to help, but I would ask the same question every time:
“Why did you choose me?”
One person told me, “I saw a video of you, and you seemed cool.”
Well, thank you for thinking I’m cool.
But I’m not entirely sure why that qualifies me to be your mentor.
Now compare that to someone who says:
“I’m preparing for a promotion next year and have received feedback that I need to strengthen my executive communication skills. You’re known as a strong communicator, and I’d love to learn from your experience.”
Now I understand why me.
The request feels intentional. Thoughtful. Relevant.
People are much more likely to invest in you when they understand why you specifically selected them.
The second question is timing.
Why now?
Maybe your customer is facing a challenge that’s in their area of expertise. Maybe your teams will be collaborating in the future. Maybe you’re preparing for a promotion, a project, or a strategic initiative and want to learn from someone who’s already been there.
Give people context.
Help them understand why this conversation matters right now.
When you answer both questions—why them and why now—you dramatically increase the odds that they’ll say yes.
Putting It All Together
Imagine you’re pursuing a leadership promotion.
Instead of sending a generic networking email, consider something like this:
“I hope you’re having a great week. My colleague Hannah suggested I reach out. I understand you were recently promoted to Director, and I’m working toward a similar goal next year. I’m meeting with my manager in three weeks to discuss my development plan and would appreciate 30 minutes of your time via Zoom to learn from your experience. If you’re open to meeting, please let me know the best way to schedule a time that’s convenient for you.”
See the difference?
The request is specific.
The request is relevant.
And because it’s specific and relevant, it’s much easier for the recipient to say yes.
Make Yourself Memorable by Following Up
Now let’s talk about the mistake almost everyone makes.
They think networking success is getting the meeting.
It’s not.
The meeting is just the beginning.
Here’s what most people miss.
The conversation is rarely what makes you memorable.
What makes you memorable is what happens after.
Think about how many people a senior leader, client, customer, or stakeholder interacts with in a given week. Dozens. Sometimes hundreds. Most of those conversations end exactly the same way.
“Great talking with you.”
And then…
Nothing.
No follow-up.
No update.
No indication that the conversation mattered.
No evidence that the advice was ever implemented.
The relationship simply fades into the background.
This is why I love Zig Ziglar’s quote: “The fortune is in the follow-up.”
The relationship is in the follow-up.
The trust is in the follow-up.
The reason they remember you is often in the follow-up.
One of the easiest ways to stand out is to send a follow-up email explaining the results of their advice.
- Tell them what happened.
- Tell them what you implemented.
- Tell them what changed.
- Tell them how it impacted your team, your customer, your project, or your results.
For example:
“Thank you again for meeting with me last month. I implemented your framework with my team and it helped us reduce project delays by nearly two weeks. I really appreciate your guidance.”
Think about how different that feels from a generic thank-you email.
Most people never know if the hour they spent with you made any difference at all.
When you share results, something powerful happens – they become invested in your success.
And if you really want to stand out?
Send a handwritten note.
I know.
It sounds old-fashioned.
That’s exactly why it works.
In a world full of emails, Slack messages, Teams chats, LinkedIn requests, text messages, and notifications, a handwritten note gets attention because almost nobody sends them anymore.
But don’t send a generic card that says:
“Thanks for your time.”
Be specific.
- Tell them how much you enjoyed hearing about the new dog they adopted.
- Tell them you appreciated the story they shared about their first promotion.
- Tell them how their experience navigating a difficult client situation gave you a new perspective.
Reference something memorable.
Because specificity communicates attention and attention communicates value.
The professionals who build the strongest networks are not necessarily the most charismatic people in the room.
They’re the people who consistently make others feel seen, valued, and appreciated.
That’s what people remember.
And that’s what turns a single conversation into a lasting relationship.
Reagan’s Rule
When it comes to networking:
Generic outreach gets ignored. Specific, relevant outreach gets remembered.
